Referral & Waiting

On Oct 21st we got the call we had been waiting for!!  A 4 month old little girl was ours...well almost.  We have been hustling to finish our homestudy update, and get all the necessary documents to all the important people in time for our MOYCA court date in May.  We are so thrilled to have a new daughter in our family.  But now, we wait.

Waiting is hard. Its exhausting. Some days I will find myself just staring into space, waiting for time to pass so we are a little closer. It can be crippling. Since the day I saw her face for the first time things have been different. I was so excited when we recieved the call. This was the moment I had waited 3 years for. And then we shared the news with friends and family, and then we waited again. We had to do more paperwork of course, it wasn't that there was nothing to do. It was just hard to do it. I thought I would be more modivated to jump through the various hoops, sign on all the lines, and get all the forms notorized, but I wasn't. Seeing her face, it was a deal maker for me. Everything else seemed to stop. Was the paperwork all worth it? If she was the "reward" at the end, of course! She is worth it. But I just want her now. I am over the paperwork. I am done jumping though hoops. I am tired of waiting, and dreaming, and planning, and preparing. I want HER. I do trust that God has a plan and is in control. But, that doesnt make me feel like at least half of this waiting is nonsense. There are kids that need families, and there are families waiting years for them. Families that have been approved on all kinds of levels to be safe and more than qualified. Seriously, $30,000 and 3 1/2 years? I'd say that is a bit overboard. At that rate we could never ever solve the orphan crisis in one country, much less the world. I'm tired of waiting. I want my girl. I get pictures and videos and my heart soars, for a minute. And then I am sad. MY girl is being fed by someone other than me. Other people are taking pictures of her, rocking her, dressing her, making her smile. Thats my job. I'm her momma. Shes playing with toys on a floor in Ethiopia in a transition home, and our floor is ready for her. Our hearts are ready for her. What's not ready? The paperwork. The Politics. I dont want to wait anymore. Im tired of waiting. I want my girl.